TOP 5 TIPS TO MAKING NEW FRIENDS
1. Use your resources (and pets): Dogs are an amazing icebreaker! I’ve met so many people in my neighborhood I’d have never met otherwise just because of walking my dog. Visit a local dog park, attend some sort of ‘pet event,’ or if you don’t have your own dog, ask to tag along with a friend who does.
2. Pick one place to focus: It can feel hard trying to make new friends, but sometimes, that’s because you’re spreading yourself too thin. Trying to make friends at your Pilates class, and the coffee shop you stop at on your lunch break, and in your apartment building can feel overwhelming. So I suggest to choose one and focus there.
3. Join an interest group: Use websites like MeetUp or even Facebook to find some local groups to partake in common interests – writing, gardening, or even volunteering! When you meet someone there, you’ve already passed the first step, finding something in common!
4. Change your mindset: I’m guilty of this one myself. But instead of saying, “It’s so hard to make friends,” tell yourself how easy it is. Even if you have to add a little affirmation moment to your morning of, such as “I attract aligned friends effortlessly,” working to change your mindset around the process can make it easier.
5. Put yourself out there: Just like dating, to make friends, you have to put yourself out there, and sometimes, you have to be brave enough to make the first move! The worst thing that can happen is they say no!
staging your social life
Now that you have these new boundaries, and hopefully a new friend group in the works, there are a few ways that you can ensure that your inner circle stays positive and uplifting, not dramatic and draining. First of all, practice the art of the “slow yes.” Unless it’s a serious emergency, never agree to a ‘rescue mission’ on the first text. Give it 24 hours to really see if this is a ‘hard season’ or a ‘cycle’ episode and how to best respond. Next, remember the ‘sanctuary first’ rule. Remember that your home, and your mental health, are the primary site. If a friendship threatens the staging of your peace, it stays outside the gate. Finally, enjoy the ritual of the table. In this, you get to reclaim your ‘hostess’ role after hanging up the lifeguard hat. From now on, only invite over people who fill your cup, not just ones who need you to pour theirs.
the new inner circle
Your inner circle is the most valuable piece of real estate you will ever own. You wouldn’t let a ‘fixer-upper’ project sit in your living room for ten years, so don’t let a ‘project’ friend sit in your heart. Build a circle that feels like a sanctuary, not a construction site. By maintaining healthy friendships and working to build new ones, you’re growing and strengthening your inner circle to bring you more peace, more joy, and a lot less drama.