The simple strategy that has helped my husband and me stay in the honeymoon phase.
Since I’ve been married for more than two years, I guess I can’t call myself a newlywed anymore. However, my husband and I have somehow managed to keep our marriage from entering the roommate phase. Somehow, we’ve stayed in the honeymoon phase. And it all comes down to one very simple strategy.
Many say that the roommate phase is inevitable. Most also think that the honeymoon phase ends around the two-year mark. And while that doesn’t mean the roommate phase will begin immediately, it does mean the relationship is shifting. Of course, this is normal! Between finances, careers, kids, and stress, relationships will change over time. But that doesn’t mean you have to feel like roommates. Our favorite way to keep our marriage from entering the roommate phase comes down to one thing: being silly.
That might sound, well, silly, but it’s true! Scientists have literally shown that being playful and bringing humor into your marriage has extremely positive results. Not only does it just make you happier, it also strengthens your relationship. This can then help you stay in the honeymoon phase longer.
Five Ways to Be More Playful in Your Marriage
- Unexpected Touches: Little hugs, taps on the booty, or kisses on the forehead are all great, but they’re even better when they’re unexpected. Try to incorporate some ‘just-because’ touches here and there. Do this whether it’s while you’re waiting for the coffee to brew or while brushing your teeth.
- Reminisce About Past Memories: It makes sense that talking about past trips or special occasions can strengthen your relationship. This also extends to funny memories from a random Tuesday night. Maybe think about that time one of you said a word wrong, that now you both mispronounce just for fun – even something as simple as that can have a huge impact.
- Break Your Routine: Mixing things up adds a playful, adventurous layer that can help keep the spark alive. Try a new sport on the weekend. Sign up for a cooking class on a Thursday night. Or, add in an evening walk instead of watching Netflix. There are so many ways to break your routine and spice up your relationship.
- Simple Gestures: A Post-it note saying “I love you” on the bathroom mirror is powerful. A piece of candy sneaked into your pocket when you aren’t looking is impactful. A ‘just because’ bouquet of flowers is more meaningful than you think.
- Have a Good Sense of Humor: Even when things get tough, remember that you’re on the same team. Moreover, at the end of the day, life isn’t meant to be taken so seriously. When things start to get tough, and it’s appropriate to do so, try to defuse the situation with light humor. It really helps! If you and your partner are both okay with it, some playful teasing here and there can also help, too.
The Strategy of Silliness
There are several ways to keep your marriage from entering the roommate phase, but this has been one of my favorites! I love the many, many ways my husband and I can be silly with one another. We may or may not even have our own random language of sorts and very odd pet names for one another that would probably confuse anyone else. While you don’t have to do the same things we do, you can come up with your own ‘silly strategy’ that works best for the two of you.
Staying out of the roommate phase takes effort. I know there will be times when life’s pressures make it hard to be silly. But, making sure to prioritize your relationship – not just by being silly– even when it feels hard, will pay off in the end. Not only will it keep you happier, it will also make your relationship healthier and keep you out of the roommate phase.
What’s your favorite way to keep your relationship or marriage out of the roommate phase?