How I got back to being, not just doing.
Life nowadays can feel like you’re constantly running on a treadmill – which is where this feminine energy reset comes in. At home, work, and on social media, it seems like there is always pressure to “do more.” To achieve more and be “on” all the time. Thanks to the early to mid-2010s trend of “girl bosses,” hustle culture has become the default nowadays. But all that does is lead to stress and burnout. So, instead of being forever on the go, I chose to get off the treadmill and slow down by reconnecting with my femininity.
And while a “feminine energy reset” might seem like a buzzword that some Instagram life coach throws around, it’s not. Instead of thinking of it as a get-rich-quick scheme, think of it as a journey back to yourself. It’s about embracing the part of you that is receptive, intuitive, and creative, which I found ultimately changed my relationship with myself. If this is something you’re looking for, too, then I hope this post (and maybe something else I’ve created) will help you slow down.
Before implementing this feminine energy reset into my life, my day-to-day was hectic. While on the outside I projected that I was “fine,” on the inside, I was deeply struggling.
My internal monologue was a constant need for validation. I told myself that my sense of worth was tied to my productivity. I was only worthy when I was doing something. Which meant that I had to be busy all the time to show just how much I could do. I felt I had to prove to the people around me that I was deserving of their love. I felt ashamed when I wasn’t busy, so my daily planner was filled to the brim with tasks – work, personal development courses, cleaning, errands, and more. Most of which I didn’t have to do that day! When I didn’t cross off every little thing on my to-do list, I felt like a failure. I felt guilty when I needed a rest day. I was constantly on the move, continually doing. And I was exhausted.
Finally, I realized that something needed to change. Hustle-culture was just leaving me exhausted, annoyed, and burnt-out. I realized that I shouldn’t feel bad for resting. I should be able to enjoy watching an episode of my favorite show without “doing something” that I deemed productive enough at the same time. There wasn’t really one big ‘aha’ moment, more just a lot of tiny moments that finally built up enough for me to say enough. So, I stopped writing every little task in my planner. I decided to try to do things when I had the time and energy — and, more importantly, when they felt good to do. I let go of control and permitted myself to simply be, rather than doing, even for just a moment. This was the start of my feminine energy reset.
It wasn’t easy every day, and I am still learning – but that’s why this is a practice, not a must-do list. To start, I tried engaging my senses more – instead of scrolling my phone while brushing my teeth, I’d play spa music on Spotify. I lit more candles around the house. Or, I would make an effort to choose softness over strength. Some days that meant just going for a walk or doing a lighter workout instead of an intense one. Other days, it meant asking for help or letting my husband take the lead on a project. Like I mentioned, I stopped filling my planner up every day. I started to say “no” without feeling like I owed an explanation.
For you, it could be journaling without a specific prompt, allowing your words to flow naturally. It could be taking more bubble baths, or setting aside one day a month to pamper yourself fully. The options are endless!
Even more than the moments of simplicity, softness, or rest, this shift was an internal one, too. It was never about becoming a different person or pretending to be something I’m not. It was just about becoming more myself again. I’ll always be someone who likes to be productive, is independent, and tends to get restless. But by changing the relationship with myself, I’m no longer my worst critic – I’m my gentle supporter. If being productive and busy feels good to me that day, I let myself have that without being hard on myself later or letting it escalate to burnout. If I want to have a slow, lazy day, I allow those, too. I’ve realized that my worth has nothing to do with how much I can do. I’m now more intuitive and much less reliant on external approval – my approval matters more.
The point of a feminine energy reset isn’t to quit, become passive or “lazy,” it’s about creating a more loving, sustainable rhythm for your life. It’s about filling your cup so you have something left over to give. This resest is about allowing yourself to simply be, without feeling like you have to be constantly moving or doing all the time.
The practices I’ve shared here are just the beginning. I’ve put together a complete 30-day guide to help you find your way back to softness, feel grounded, creative, and at peace. You can find it here.
What is one small act of softness you can offer yourself today to begin your own reset?