Being single when you want to be in a relationship can be hard, and it can lead to all kinds of unhelpful thoughts. You might question if you’re worthy of love (you are) or worry that you’ll never find your person (you will). I get it. I’ve been there. But one thing that I wish I’d believed when I was single? That it’s okay to be a little selfish.
Growing up, we’re taught to think that selfishness is a bad thing. And yes, kindness and thinking of others are important. But there’s also something beautiful about a season in your life where you get to put yourself first, fully and unapologetically.
When I met my now-husband, things moved fast. I mean, we were living together within five months of meeting! And, suddenly, I had a partner and a new puppy to consider in every plan I made. I loved building a life with them, but I also realized how quickly my time stopped being just mine.
I didn’t regret entering that new phase, but I did wish I’d enjoyed my independence more. The nights I spent eating dinner alone and watching Netflix shouldn’t have been spent wishing I had someone to share them with – I should have enjoyed them for what they were in that stage of my life. And now, when my husband is out of town, I find myself looking forward to those solo nights filled with all the Greek food and rom coms he doesn’t like.
I never neglected my friends, family, or work commitments; I just had more time and energy to focus on myself. And I spent too much of that time feeling guilty for prioritizing myself when instead, I should have been fully enjoying the phase I was in.
So if you’re in a season where it’s just you, embrace it. If there’s one thing to believe when you’re single, it’s this. Be selfish! Take up the whole bed. Watch whatever you want. Travel, rest, dream, eat, and live on your own terms.
That season won’t last forever, but for now, it’s yours. And you deserve to enjoy that season, guilt-free.