A birthday confession.
Today is my 34th birthday, and while I usually use this time for gentle reflection, this year, I needed a bit more of a tough, strategic overhaul.
While I have loved bringing my blog back to life this year, I realized that trying to force myself into the “soft girl” aesthetic, while lovely in theory, was actually leaving me drained. I was trying to go slow and fast at the same time. I would tell myself to relax, then add ten more things to my to-do list. As much as I’d love to embrace more of the soft girl life, my real life is still one big beautiful, ambitious mess. And the truth is, I need systems, organization, and strategy to find any peace, and finally embracing that has given me three huge clarity bombs that I’m ready to confess.
Truth #1: I’m Not in Control (and That’s the Point)
I spent more of my early thirties trying to rigidly control every outcome – especially in my career, with my body and fertility, and my finances – and so far, it’s only led to intense burnout and feelings of failure. Now, I’ve learned that true power isn’t in rigid control, but in building flexible systems that help me feel more prepared for the inevitable chaos. I’ve also learned that there are some times when all I can do is just sit back and trust. Now, my goal is less about micromanaging my future and more about building reliable processes that allow me to adapt when life inevitably throws a curveball, and having faith that things will work out.
Truth #2: It’s Okay If My Life Doesn’t Look The Way I Thought It Would
I didn’t cross any of my goals off my list this year, and 25-year-old me would be so confused at where I am now, and I’m learning to be okay with that. My old plan? The career I thought I wanted, the timeline I planned for marriage and building a family? They were all based on outdated inputs, old beliefs, and other people’s expectations. The real strategic skill is not sticking to a rigid plan, but assessing the current landscape and intentionally setting new, aligned goals that reflect who I am now. I am giving myself permission to fully pivot my focus, because chasing a beautiful new vision is way more rewarding than sticking to a script that no longer fits me.
Truth #3: My Most Annoying Quirks Are My Highest-Value Skills
I’ve always felt a little bit out of place with my obsessive need to organize spreadsheets, color-code my planner, and create lists and workflows for even the most mundane tasks. I never hid this personality quirk, but I don’t know that I fully embraced it as the gift that it is. But I am finally realizing that this very specific quirk, this weird obsession with systems and planning, is a high-value skill that can solve massive problems for a lot of people. This year, I am treating my love for organization as a superpower I can leverage and use to help others, because the things that come easiest to me are what others struggle with most.
The Promise for Year 34 and Beyond
This next chapter of Still Confessing will be my most honest and strategic yet, documenting the messiness of building systems for both profit and peace. I’m not going to just preach the soft girl lifestyle; I’m going to show how you can achieve it. I’m trading vague inspiration for tangible advice – because the biggest truth I’m embracing this year is that the only way to achieve the life you want is to build a reliable blueprint for it first. I might not be living the soft girl life I thought I’d be at 34, but I’m excited for what’s in store next, and I can’t wait to take you all along with me!
Which of these three truths resonates most with you? Tell me in the comments: Which area of your life (budget, career, or home)feels like it needs a project manager most right now?