The sweet spot between my way and the highway.
Have you ever found yourself in a minor disagreement with your partner? Maybe it’s about where to go for dinner, how to load the dishwasher, or what color to paint the bathroom. But, maybe that small thing suddenly feels bigger than it should? That little moment of friction can feel like a sign that something is broken. Or, that a bigger conflict is on the way. However, what I’ve since learned is that it’s not a sign of brokenness at all. Instead, it’s an invitation to find healthy compromise in a relationship.
In my previous experiences, even the smallest disagreement could be a sign of trouble. Granted, those were pretty toxic and unhealthy relationships… But still, they left me with the idea that any problem, no matter how small, was a battle, and there would only be one winner. I felt frustrated and like I had “lost” when I eventually gave in. When I did get my way, they would be so upset that it wasn’t even worth the win. With them, disagreements were conflicts, and I tried to avoid them as much as possible.
Now, I realize that in a healthy relationship, it is possible to find compromise – no one wins or loses. With my husband (and good communication) I’ve learned that the “sweet spot” isn’t a halfway point, but a third, new solution. Instead of being his way or my way, it’s about listening to the other person’s needs – and having yours heard, too. For example, instead of being stuck on his movie or your movie, look for a third option. Maybe he wants to watch a big action blockbuster, while you’re in the mood for a comforting comedy. It could mean watching one that night and the other the following weekend. Maybe it’s finding a movie you both want to watch that night. Remember that you’re a team, not two opponents.
So instead of seeing compromise as a sign of weakness, see it as what it really is – a profound act of love and partnership. This “sweet spot” of finding a new, better option for both of you is where you truly grow together. Even better, these small gestures of understanding build a strong foundation for the future. Working together is the goal, not winning.
In your relationship, where do you want to start practicing the art of the ‘sweet spot’ this week?